How have people helped you most when you're grieving?

My mom told me of an awful tragedy this morning. A friend of my cousin's was shot and killed by her husband, and then he shot himself. They were separated, and he was bringing the kids back from the weekend. The kids were in the back yard playing when he did it. They are young...the oldest is not even 10. I didn't know them well, but my cousin is in pieces. I feel so sad, and can't imagine the pain the family is in. We share the same faith, and I know she believes in the resurrection...but even with that comfort, there of course is still such heartache....I can't take the pain away, but what has helped y'all in times of sadness and grief?